I am embarking on
a long-awaited journey. It was one that
commenced one year ago when I spent a week of solitude at Tara Mandala in
Pagosa Springs, CO. I was the recipient
of the kindness of a few close friends who knew that my life was at a point
where deep contemplation could be just the right intervention to examine, and
potentially address, some of the growing dis-ease I was experiencing. Throughout my life, I’ve been thrilled to
have experiences born of a world-view that is based on well-being – the
capacity for an individual to engage at liberty without diminishing the
equivalent capacity for others. For
as many years, I’ve marveled at the near-universal response I encounter to my
chosen path of life. While an intrepid few
are more than delighted to receive what I offer and manifest and find their own
pathway to equivalently offer and manifest that which I and others can
experience, the vast majority absorb and take with no recognition of the
exchange and currency of well-being. As
a photon in isolation is not light until it engages in coherent energetic
transmission with other activated photons, so I was finding my light
illuminating far less than I thought it could.
So, my week long hermitage was a moment to disentangle from the
reflectors, absorbers, and diffractors, and examine the photon that is me.
In a recent
message, a dear friend made the statement, “I’m glad you have finally found
what you needed.” Today, in a casual
conversation, another friend said, “It’s sure hard to find good news we need
these days.” As I was engaged in the
curious human activity of selective aesthetic biome alteration (better known as
weeding) in which I was removing plants that seemingly effortlessly proliferate
in favor of the selected plants I want to thrive, my biome altering accomplice
mused about how plants find “what they need” to survive. Find.
Need. There they were again. Two words that serve as a cognitive fulcrum in
my brain over the last year. What was it
about these two words that so voraciously consumed my thoughts and
emotions? How could it be that the first
statement did more to confirm my friend’s lack of awareness of my essential
nature than almost anything else she could have said? And is there anything about the three
comments that all converge around something that is worth considering more
deeply?
The etymology of
the word “need” suggests that the term is derived from an old Germanic word
signifying “danger”. Since 1800, it’s
prevalence in English literature has increased nearly 800%. This may suggest that in about 200 years, we’ve
become needier. Ironically, need’s
companion “want” is a bit less prevalent and only doubled during the same 200
year literary period. In 1943, Abraham
Maslow’s paper, “A Theory of Human Motivation” published in the Psychological
Review put “need” into a social model built around a “hierarchy of needs”
that has become the de facto justification for nearly every enterprise
or effort. The base of his pyramid is
elemental – calories, air, water, shelter – and is based on a principle of “protection
from the elements”. As though the ‘elements’
are conspiring to do you in. From there,
you get to “safety” – another term that implies an absence of a generative,
caring nature. From there love,
belonging and then esteem – all needs that must come from
others. Somewhere at the top – and loosely
linked to the concept of “need” – he placed self-actualization and later
self-transcendence. Tragically, Maslow
succeeded in brainwashing an enormous swath of humanity to a belief that they
were operating in a secular model identical to most religious dogmatic memes
which place cosmology in a conflict with humanity. Something’s out to get you. Be afraid.
NEED, for Christ’s sake!
Do plants “find”
the nutrients they “need”? Do humans “find”
partners and settings that fulfill their “needs”? Does the 8ft ceiling in your home fulfill
your “need” for shelter? Does the job
you have or the degree you earned fulfill your “need” for esteem?
What’s wrong with
“finding what you needed”? Well, for
starters, everything. Let’s assume that
you are the sum of about 724 trillion cells (give or take a few trillion if,
like me, you are follicularly challenged).
Let’s assume that your amazing fact of existence is so delightfully
complex that you don’t even think about your breathing, your heart beat, your
digestion, your animation, or much of any of the other 7 primary organ systems
in your body. Do you have any idea what
actually benefits the very systems that you don’t even know exist? Are you sure that whatever you put in your
mouth last is good for your lymphatic system?
Did you even know you had one of those systems? Of course not! And even if you whipped out your Wikipedia,
you’d still not know if the chocolate you ate was pro-reproductive but
anti-digestive. So just eat the
chocolate, enjoy it, and read on. What’s
the point? The point is that none of us
live in abject “need”. None of live in
relative “need”. And if we think we “need”
to “find” something – or think someone else does – how presumptuous can we
be? Millions of people fill their
experiences of living with NEED. Need
stuff. Need connections. Need relationships. Need intimacy.
Need relevance. Need, need,
need.
Here’s an
idea. I’m starting a discipline of
removing “need” from my vocabulary. And
not just my vocabulary but the vocabulary I choose to be exposed to. The irony is that my friend who was glad I “found
what I needed” never realized the joy of living in a world in which being fully
grateful for the abundance that surrounds each and every moment calls forth a
human impulse that never entered Maslow’s hierarchy. There’s another form of humanity – one that
inverts the pyramid of need. One that
realizes that the basis for human existence and interaction STARTS with
emanating from one’s core essence. Being
the most beautiful and authentic expression of who you are and what you’re
meant to manifest on this earth. Oddly
enough, starting from that point, you’ll find yourself coherent with others
similarly manifesting. And who knows,
maybe they’ll become your co-conspirators to serve the world, maybe they’ll
become your lovers and partners, maybe they’ll band together and give you
confidence and support, and maybe they’ll share a roof, a table, a blanket, and
a meal with you. There are only tens of
thousands of years of evidence showing that living in, and emanating, gratitude
for abundance is persistent and generative.
On this
anniversary of my monastic journey, I’m grateful to know that there are a
growing number of people who are awakening to the realization that there’s a
life more beautiful than one defined by need; more beautiful than one defined
by labels, titles, social conventions, norms, and all other contrivances to
withhold life from living. And I’m glad
that my journey to Tara Mandala still serves to remind me to BE the person I
authentically am. Fully
provisioned. Fully equipped. And ready for whatever and whomever comes my
way.
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